Thursday, July 14, 2016
My husband and I celebrate 12 years this weekend.
WOW 12 years. It’s crazy to think it’s been this long.
October 2015 – my boss gave us his beach house for the weekend.
We met 14 years ago in a Bar. Rewind to the back story….. I grew up bowling. Every Saturday my mom took me to the bowling lanes to be on a league. I bowled all the way through High School. When I moved to NC I had no idea how to make friends because I wasn’t in college. So I did what came natural and joined not one but 2 bowling leagues! I met and dated a guy, the only good thing I got out of that relationship was his roommates girlfriend. She and I dumped the guys and moved in together. One night after work she called and told me to come to a bar. That she and a bunch of people from a bowling league she was on were all hanging out. Bottle beer was $1 which I could afford, so I went. B was in the bar with some of his friends and noticed our group. He recognized a guy in the group and came over to say Hi. Now right before he came over I wrote off men. I was sick of being treated like crap from the looser’s I had been dating. Then B walked up and my heart jumped into my throat, I couldn’t breath. When people tell you about love at first sight, it’s true! He was Gorgeous. I was so nervous to talk with him I kept kicking my roommate. She got so mad at me cause I ended up giving her a bruise. lol
our favorite date place is Aki Hana in Carrboro. Best Sushi ever!
B sat down and was chatting with the guy (sadly I can’t remember his name). I jumped in the conversation and as B like’s to say “we struck up a conversation that night and it hasn’t ended”. He’s a romantic at heart! Anyhow, he asked me to stay behind and have another drink with him. I pulled “guy” aside and asked if B was safe and on the up and up. He said yes and for me not to break his heart. I looked at him puzzled. Later I learned B not only had gotten a divorce a few months ago but his live in girlfriend left him on the same day. Like he came home to an almost empty house! Crappy right!
It’s hard to get a good smile from him on camera, so this picture is extra special. July 2015
Anyhow, he asked me to go back to his house. I know scandalous but remember we are married now. He played guitar for me and we talked all night. I let him know only kissing was on the table. He respected that and asked if we could just cuddle. We both fell asleep in each other’s arms that night. Another quick back story – I had been engaged and living with a man when I was 19. We lived together for almost a year when I caught him cheating. JERK! Anyhow, in the time I lived with him it took me at least 3 months to get a good night sleep with him in the same bed.
My first night with B I fell asleep with no issue and slept the best I had in my whole life. I knew then that he was my home! Now to get him to realize this….
B takes picture’s for me sometimes. He is getting good at it!
The next morning we woke and I had to leave so I could rush home and get dressed for work. We swapped digits. Well about an hour into work and I couldn’t stop smiling and thinking about him, so I called. I know girls aren’t suppose to call guys. I played it off like I couldn’t read his hand writing, which is absolutely terrible. He was so glad I called, said he was having friends over that night and wanted me to come meet them! I spent that whole weekend with him. I met his two daughters (5 and 8 at the time). We had so much fun. He and his girls were the family I needed. See earlier this same year my father passed away. My sister had moved back home and we didn’t get along. It was the hardest year of my life (at the time).
B loves to fish, even when it rains.
We say that I moved in with B that first night. Slowly over the next 2 weeks more and more of my clothes stayed at his place until one day he said, could you just move in already. We met in October of 2002, we married July 2004. I love him more everyday.
Don’t get me wrong, we have had our hard times. We even separated for a few months 5 years ago, then went to marriage counseling and discovered how to communicate with each other again. During our first few years we had hard times. Between his children not wanting to see him anymore, his mother trying to break us up (yup, she even called my mom and asked her to tell me to leave him), his best friend and business partner stealing from the business that had to be closed, and loosing our home we have gone through the worst of the worst together. So it’s no wonder we needed a little outside help. We both agree it was the best decision we made because the tools we used then help us even to this day.
My advise to those who are married or just got married…….. Nothing! Every relationship is different, just like every person. What works for us may not for you. I would just strongly recommend as you both grow and change to communicate or re-learn to communicate with each other. Marriage is work, but it’s the most rewarding.