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Who I am as a Blogger

I started blogging in 2012.  I had no idea what a blog was or who would even read it.  If it hadn’t been for my Nana, I would never have started one.  She knew more about blogging than I did and she was 50+ (at the time).  My blog started as “Everyday Fashion on a Budget”.  I worked at Habitat and didn’t earn hardly any money.  My husband’s company went under when his business partner stole from us.  We lost everything.  It was a very hard time in my life.  I needed something positive and I think that is why Nana suggested blogging.

A little background into me.  I grew up in a conservative household.  My parents were in their mid to late 30’s when I was born.  I am the youngest of 3 kids, my siblings are 6 and 8 years older than I am.  The women in my family aren’t into fashion, getting real dressed up, or wearing much makeup.  As a child I was a tom-boy, I climbed trees and got into fights.  It wasn’t until I was in my 20’s that I realized I loved shoes.  This lead into a love for clothes.  Not really having a role model I didn’t know the possibilities clothes had.  Sadly in my 20’s I didn’t have the financial ability to afford the real nice clothes.  So I shopped at second hand stores like Good Will to get nice clothes for an affordable price.  Hence my first blog name “EDF on a budget”.

me working a Habitat event 2013
I learned a lot about clothes from my co-workers.  One lady shopped J Crew exclusively.  I asked her one day how she could afford J Crew.  She let me know about the clearance and warehouse locations in VA.  We went together once.  I was in heaven!  J Crew that was affordable!  I went back 2 more times with different people.
Fast forward a few years.  I learned there were blogger networks while reading another blog who is in FL.  I googled and located TriFabb!  Finally ladies in my area who wanted to talk clothes, shoes, makeup, and blogging.  I found my soul mates.  I quickly became friends with several of the ladies.  One being Molly (above second from left), she is the founder of TriFabb.  I learned about monetizing, reaching out to brands, networking, and link ups.  I felt so out of place.  So many of the ladies I met knew so much and I had been blogging longer than them.  How was I to keep up?  Should I just stop?  THEN ALL the Insecurities came………
Beauty was not something my parents focused on.  My dad told me it was better to be the smartest person in the room.  My mom told me I was pretty, but would scoff if someone said it to her.  Insecurity ran deep in my family.  I remember telling my mom once when she told me I was pretty; “So are you Mom.”  in which she replied “No I am not”.  Then I said “I look just like you, how can I be pretty and you are not?”
It wasn’t until I met my husband that I actually believed someone when they said I was pretty.  Growing up I was the tallest in the class.  My legs were so long when I would run they would get tangled.  My feet were so long and narrow hardly any shoes fit well.  I had trouble finding items to fit that were also pretty.  Most dress’ and skirts were too short for my legs.  Kids were mean.  I couldn’t wear the same outfits the other girls in my class wore.  This is why I was 1st a Tom-Boy and 2nd a Goth.  I didn’t know where I fit from age 8-18.  Then my husband came along.  He called me “drop dead gorgeous” and “the prettiest woman in the place”.  I like to think my dad sent me my husband.  My father passed in January the same year I met my husband (in October).
So how can I be a good blogger?  I don’t have a ton of money to buy clothes like the other bloggers.  Most of the items I have are end of season sale or consignment.  I have major insecurities.  Who wants to read my thoughts?  Why would brands want to work with me?
As with my childhood I stumbled a lot when it came to blogging.  I took pictures holding my camera in front of a full length mirror.  Didn’t know my camera had a timer, smh.  I re-purposed clothes I got from Good Will and no one read the post.  I had to ask younger co-workers and classmates about the newest app and how to use it.  I felt like a dinosaur.  My blog had 10 readers for many many years.  It wasn’t until I joined TriFabb that it went up, but that was a TON of work.  Link-ups, comments, and building what I thought were friendships.  I learned that if I didn’t comment, they didn’t either.  It took me back to the “friends” I thought I had growing up; If I called they answered but they wouldn’t reach out first.  Insert my insecurities.  How was I going to succeed as a blogger?
I got to thinking one day, what is success?
Who get’s to measure success?
When it comes to my blog I say it is me!
I feel my blog is a success because I have some true friends, even if just a few, that I met through blogging.  I have fun putting posts together, even if only 10 people read it.  I have learned so much about clothes, makeup, hair, and myself.  I try to share what I know just in case there is a younger me who wants to learn.  I continue to blog because it is the only way I can be open and creative.
In the end it’s how you feel about something that makes it worth your time.  I go back and forth on blogging.  I go through times where I feel like a failure.  I still seek the affirmation that you get with comments, likes, shares, click, and reads.  That will never go away because I am human.  I have flaws and insecurities.  That’s ok though!
If you read my blog, I thank you.  If you comment I jump up and down.  I may be absent from time to time but when I have 100% focus I comment and reply.  I search for bloggers like me who need a little encouragement and I try to give it.  This is who I am as a person and a blogger.
Thank you for reading!

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